Years ago we adopted a different approach to the holidays, well to life in general really.  Instead of stressing so much about the material things in life, we have made it a point NOT to.  To make it about being present with each other, about the memories, the time spent together.  It’s funny, I posted this list 4 years ago around this time of year and someone commented ‘lamest Christmas ever.’ Now many others loved it and even shared the post, but wow…I feel sorry for that guy.  He’s obviously missed the point in life.

Do you know most people go in debt, spend way more than they make buying people presents and then spend the next 6 months paying off those debts.  It’s crazy!  What’s even crazier, is we used to be one of them.  Multiple times we ended up way over our heads, drowning in debt, trying to make ends meet.  We were both working full time but just couldn’t keep up and ended up taking some drastic measures.  My parents helped bail us out a few times which was great…but at the same time it was too easy.  So we didn’t learn our lesson unfortunately and ended up in the same spot again.  This time we did things differently and did an extreme downsize.

And what we’ve found after letting go of it all is that most of the time those presents end up being thrown away, broken, or pushed way to the back of the closet, then find themselves in your local Goodwill.  If you haven’t noticed or looked around, we’re a consumer nation and have far more than we will ever use.  Just take a look in your closets, your cabinets, cupboards… You spring clean, winter clean…and many times in between are cleaning out the stuff you don’t use and continue to buy more and more.

I remember Vic and I deciding we weren’t going to do a big Christmas several times, so then my parents stepped in thinking the kids needed all these toys.  What happens?!  In a matter of days, many end up trashed or broken.  The kids rarely picked anything up and having multiple children I got tired of it.  I started bagging up the toys that were left out and hiding them up in the closet.  And guess what??  They didn’t even miss them!  They forgot all about them until months later we’re cleaning things out and decide to get rid of them.  Then they want them, so we recycled them, felt like new only for the same thing to happen again.  Next time we really did away with them for good.  Over time my parents finally learned to not buy as much.  Seriously, kids can only play with so many things at a time.

Let me just say that, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having things and a full house, but when you’re going in debt for it.  When you’re stressing out over it, causing you anxiety, worry that leads to panic sometimes, depression…wondering and thinking if you’ll ever get caught up and if it’ll ever be enough.  That’s when you know something’s got to give.  …on the flip side though, I’ve also seen when you do have the money and it’s not an issue, then things aren’t valued, especially by the kids who don’t understand the work that went behind the money to buy the things.  At least that’s the case for most, I’m not saying all…

Here’s another fun truth to think about – the majority of people end up dead or dead broke by the age of 65. Talk about putting life into perspective.  Let’s explore that for a second.  You can’t take it with you.  When you’re gone, you’re gone and nothing’s going with you.  I hate to be so crass, but believe me I’ve been through the sickness and death of my son.  It’s a stark reality that most people don’t get.  None of us are getting out of here alive.  And storing up treasures like that, is just sad really.  So many things I could say about it…but when you go through loss you realize your mortality and you know the hurt, the pain.  You examine and see life in a whole new light. Most of the stuff we worry about really won’t matter in the end.  Think if you were in your last days, you knew the end was coming…would you have lived life the way you wanted?!  Would you have done everything you wanted to do?!  Did you spend time with the people you loved and tell them how much they meant to you?!  Did you waste it away being busy or did you enjoy the moments?!

…the other side is those ending up at 65 dead broke, nothing to show for it.  Mostly due to spending on tons of junk we don’t need, living stressed out trying to make ends meet for years.  Do you know what stress does to your body??  Bad bad things.  And over time it builds, leaving you not able to retire, not able to enjoy your last however many years.  It’s no wonder so many are on antidepressants and anxiety meds.  We’re all trying to keep up with each other.

Well, we were too until we made some serious changes in our lives.  The most free-ing thing we’ve done in our lives was let go of the stuff and do an extreme downsize.  Many called us crazy, my dad thought I should just go back to work full time to keep our house and be able to pay for everything.  And yes, we considered that…but we also thought & we knew we’d still be stressed out and trying to keep up with it all.  Not only that, but then I’d be away from the house 10+ hours a day, rushing to get the kids up and to work, rushing when we got home to get everything done.  It was the same thing we’d always done, so why would anything be different??  You know the definition of insanity right?!  Doing the same thing expecting different results.  That’s insanity and we said NO, not this time.

A resounding theme we heard from a business and relationship seminar we went to years earlier was ‘find out what everyone else is doing and do the opposite.’   So after multiple failures taking the route that was logical and what most people would do…we decided to do things differently.  And that’s how we got to this type Christmas list.  <3

We do get presents for the kids, but it’s minimal and more things they need, want and can use.  Most of the time they’re getting it before actual Christmas day, so the emphasis isn’t really on opening presents that morning but about spending the quality time together, having breakfast and lunch together, conversing, playing games, watching the kids play…

Life is so dang short, don’t miss out on the time spent together.  It goes by with the blink of an eye and as I’ve learned, it can be taken at any given moment, also in the blink of an eye.  We’re not promised tomorrow.

And hey, I’m curious…does this sound crazy to you?!  Are you all about the presents??  Does this season stress you out??